I heard Sandy Day give her awesome testimony and share how the Lord had used her life to his glory at a MOPS meeting, on April 6th of this year. I was touched by what I heard and approached her table to thank her. There I felt the need to share with her that I too had an abortion at 23. I explained that I had confessed my sin and felt a peace about it. I knew the Lord had forgiven me but I still never ever told anyone about my abortion nor did I have any plans too. Sharing with Sandy was painful for me. It was my secret that I planned to take with me to the grave!
She immediately invited me to her bible study “Living in His Forgiveness” that began that very night. I hesitated before answering thinking how I could politely turn her down. Didnt she hear me explain that I had dealt with my sin and moved on? Before I could answer I felt the gentle nudging of the Holy Spirit encouraging me to say YES. Sure enough I agreed to come despite my initial feelings and came every Thursday night after that until the study was completed. I discovered many things through studying God’s word.
1. I learned that the shame I felt in my heart was a consequence of my sin. Until I truly understood the forgiveness of God I would never be able to bring glory to God. The Lord tells us in Romans 8:1
“Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
2. Understanding his forgiveness led to realizing that God wants to use the situation in our lives, despite the circumstances, to glorify Him. God wanted to use my abortion to bring him glory by sharing of God’s forgiveness and HOW he forgivenes! I had never thought that possible. If I never shared with anyone about my abortion and God’s forgiveness my terrible decision to end a life that day thirteen years ago would remain a source of shame in my life instead of being a source of light in someone else’s.
3. I learned that I had to take my thoughts captive. When fear overtakes, faith is not at work.. I was afraid to share about my abortion for fear of rejection. The Bible tells us in 2 Cor 10:5
“We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.”
4. I learned that a consequence of sin can be anxiety. After moving from Canada to Charlotte, I started feeling anxious and irritable. I had trouble sleeping and felt tired and overwhelmed. I even went to my doctor seeking medical help. He prescribed medication and I tried it but felt nauseous and stopped taking it. I didn’t want to be dependent on a pill. I prayed that the Lord would take away my anxiety. He answered my prayers by bringing me to Sandy’s bible study. Now that I am free from the shame of my abortion, I no longer suffer from anxiety.
Is there something in your life that you are hiding? Take a moment now to ask yourself why. It may be that you haven’t dealt with it through the context of God’s Word. Last year I would never have shared with you my decision to abort my baby. But now, I can write to you knowing how God has forgiven me and what He did to change my life. Only through God’s Word have I come to fully understand His plans for me. Let me end with Jeremiah 29:11
“For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord. They are plans for good, not disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
For the dates of our next LIVING IN HIS FORGIVENESS STUDY please check out our Caleb Ministries website at www.calebministries.org and click post-abortion and look for Bible study or call (704)841.1320 or email [email protected]